Boulder Roubaix

Boulder Roubaix was back this year and I wanted to have an entirely new experience than two years ago, when I was dropped at the start and rode alone in the heat and dirt the entire race…ugh. I was surprised at the start when we were asked to vote on whether we wanted to remain a separate 3’s race or join pro 1-2. That seems like a no-brainer to me, so I raised both hands to race separate 3’s but noticed about a third of the girls wanted to be with the pro 1-2, even though there were 12 of us.

We started off at a tempo pace, having the understanding that there were three laps/55ish miles to go. I stayed in the small pack and tried to protect myself from the wind as much as possible. There were some surges here and there as we climbed up the dirt hills, but always followed by recovery and a nice place to tuck into out of the wind. I found myself feeling confident and fairly comfortable on the dirt and in the pack. I noticed the Natural Grocers team doing a lot of work up front, but they stayed with it and one of them took the win so apparently they knew exactly what they were doing.

The pace started picking up as we approached the hill on Nelson and the last 1/4 of the lap where the course really becomes challenging. I am still ruminating on how the race would have been different had I made it to the left turn onto dirt on the top of the hill on Nelson. I really thought at the time that I was giving it my all to stay on a wheel, but I couldn’t hold on and watched the other riders move farther and farther ahead, knowing that dropping off now was the end of the race. Looking back, I know there were some underlying thoughts of discouragement that may have played a key role in me dropping off at that point. I remember thinking the pace was getting faster and that I couldn’t hold on, but I was also anticipating the pace remaining this fast for the duration of the race and predicting I’d surely be dropped on the dreaded hills coming up in the dirt section. Those are assumptions that led me to contest for second to last place instead of potentially 8th or 9th. I didn’t have the confidence I needed and somehow didn’t find the motivation to hold on just for that moment and not even think beyond that one single hill.

At the top of the Nelson hill the course turns left onto dirt and there is recovery before the daunting dirt hills. I found good company with one other rider who was also dropped and we could see the field had split on the hills as I had predicted…but if I had pushed just a bit more on Nelson I could have been with the group ahead. I did give it one more go up the hills because it looked like I might be able to catch the few that had fallen off the back. I really tried hard but I think by then the gap was too big and I had missed the opportunity to recover in the pack. I was surprisingly accepting of this at the time – it is only after the race that I’m second-guessing whether I could have pushed harder.

I was so pleased to have company though. Cindy Milnick and I worked together (we placed 1st and 2nd at Koppenberg last year as 4’s) and our pace slowed significantly because there was no one behind us. We weren’t giving up, but at the same time it was clear that realistically we weren’t going to catch anyone. We relaxed and I recall several times saying “This is fun!” but next time I don’t want to be able to say that until after the race. I guess I accepted we were having a race within the race, and we agreed we’d ride steady the next two laps together and try to not let the pro men catch us. We admitted at one point that we both thought the other was doing more work, and I felt tired but trained well enough that I knew I’d have plenty in me for a final sprint. I proposed that we ride neutral to the 200m to go sign and then sprint from there. I felt pretty confident that winning that sprint would not be a problem, and when I did finish second to last it was a good feeling.

Still, ruminating…what if? So next weekend I will remember this: I must, must be confident to my core because even if on the surface I think I’m cooked, my mind has a lot of power to control whether I agree and should let it go or whether I’m going to turn off the brain and turn on the legs and just make it happen.