The State TT Championship was way out by the Denver airport, a new course this year. I'd never done this race before, but it was one that I've been targeting as an A race. I have mixed feelings about the race. I’m really trying to stay positive and not be so hard on myself, but I am definitely disappointed with the results. I ended up getting third place, which is great however many girls missed their start time because the start clock was almost two minutes fast. Thankfully, I rode to the start as soon as I arrived in order to sync clocks and see how long it would take me to get from the car to the start. When I arrived at registration I saw Breeze and it was comforting to see a teammate. She also helped me pump up the disk wheel and I was able to report back to her on the start clock time. Val was around, too, and cheerful as ever :) I saw her again after the race and she was so encouraging and supportive! I thought I had a lot of extra time, but I ended up having to rush through my warm-up and only got 25 minutes to get my legs going, when I normally warm up more like 45. Still, I went into the race feeling very good energy wise, so I thought.
I must have been more nervous than I realized because I found myself being really obnoxious in response to a marshal at the start. I was standing out of the start line, having arrived early, and was stretching. He said, “Do you think you could stretch somewhere other than the middle of the road?” Mind you, there was zero car traffic and I was at the start so I wasn’t in the way of any cyclists warming up. So I stepped toward the line and moved my bike like five inches and said “How about here?!” It was sassy and obnoxious and I should have just said okay and thank you; normally I would but I think my nerves were going and I just felt irritated.
Anyway, Amber was there, starting one minute behind me. I really admire her as an athlete and was hoping she wouldn’t catch me during the race. I had a great set-up since my friend hooked me up with a disk wheel with powertap, and I was excited that for once I would be able to match some of the aero gear other riders have. I also know Rachel is a strong rider and she was supposed to start 30 seconds in front of me, but I didn’t see her and turns out she was one of the unfortunates that missed her start time. That’s got to be so frustrating!
I rolled up at my start time and made sure I was in a big gear because within twenty feet the course turned right and onto a slight downhill. The course overall was not what I would call flat, but it wasn’t exactly hilly either. It should have been a great course for me to power through. It was 40k, which is a pretty long time trial, but I had an idea of trying to finish just under one hour. I pre-rode the course last Saturday but went at a fairly mellow pace because I had City Park crit to race on Sunday. I haven’t looked at the data from the powertap I borrowed yet, but I believe I averaged lower than the 219 I did when I pre-rode the course. My total race time was 1.02.55. There may be a possibility that the powertap I borrowed was picking up watts different than my own powertap that I train/race with, but I don't think so because I did my openers workout Friday with the disk/powertap and the watts seemed on target.
I started hard but not too hard to justify the low watts later in the race, and I quickly settled into LT, around 245. Not far into the race, though, I noticed when I looked at the powertap the number was more like 230, so I would pick up the pace and that is why I like to race with a powertap so I know when I should kick it up a notch. Then I started seeing 220, and I just tried to stay positive and coach myself to ride fast and get to the turn-around. I saw a Primal Treads girl ahead of me and I knew when I passed her that I had made up one minute on her, but I still was perplexed why my watts weren’t higher. I knew Amber would not be far behind me now, and sure enough when I did get to the turn-around I saw her and Rachel not too far behind. There had been some head wind going out, so after turning around I felt my speed pick up significantly and really tried to use the momentum to take me up the hills. I took a left turn fast without getting out of my bars and that helped me get up one of the largest hills (which still was by no means steep but did require more effort).
A few minutes from the finish Amber did pass me and by then my watts were 175-190. Terrible. I just couldn’t go harder and that’s an awful feeling when I expected to hold 245. It was really a mental blow to see her pass, and I started to give up a bit until I encouraged myself to keep it going and use her as a rabbit to catch. By then she had made a huge gap though and I really just needed to get across the finish. I crossed the finish line and of course I cried, and then I cried that I was crying because that’s stupid, but I have worked really hard and put my heart and soul into training/racing. Time trials are very intense mentally, too. You learn a lot about yourself when it’s just you competing by yourself out there. It’s good practice to stay positive and say mantras…while racing I kept saying “spin fast” to myself, and “surprise yourself,” meaning have confidence that I could go above and beyond my highest expectation. I surprised myself the other way, though, and even getting on the podium didn’t make me feel better about my average watts for the race…well, maybe it helped a little :)
Riding back to the car, I talked with Cat and met another racer, Angie, who were both really sweet as I cried and cursed to myself. Angie said something along the lines of if she had quit when she didn’t do well at races she would have stopped a long time ago, and it was helpful to hear that I wasn’t the only person who felt like quitting sometimes and also that I can feel like quitting but actually keep on and continue to make progress despite that feeling. Angie then posted this quote on her wall, which I am reposting because it is so apropos:
"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves."
~Guatama Buddha
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